I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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