ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
