Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
True strength comes from lack of pants
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
