were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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