yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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