white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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