absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
