in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
