I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
