you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize