there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
