All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
