Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
