I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
