Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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