operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
