i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
