once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
