i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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