Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
