Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
