you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
