I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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