Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize