At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
