My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
