You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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