so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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