How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
