Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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