ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
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