then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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