exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
