Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
