So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
