If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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