drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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