As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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