i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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