Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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