I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
