Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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