Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
