can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
