I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
