i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
