We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
