At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
