no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I want to have your abortion
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
