hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
