You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
