I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
