critical mistake not lubing the nipples
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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