probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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