apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i love accidental penises.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize