the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
