is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
