Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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