hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
