yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
